The last day of band camp is tomorrow, and I am both happy and sad about that. I have some terrible allergies right now because of the high mold content in the area. I sound like a chainsmoker and it looks like I'm constantly crying. Needless to say, I'm sexy as hell. I don't like playing with mallets when I can't breathe. It actually increased my heart rate today, which is sucky. But I'm going to miss band camp because, well, I love band. I really do.
I'm in a bit of a neutral zone about school right now. I'm not excited for it start, but I'm also not devastated about it. It is what it is!
My schedule also got changed and where I was supposed to see D three times a day, I now only see her once. Not cool Marty, not cool.
I also have 1st period with Chris! There ain't nothing like shitty, boring, American history mornings with an awkward avoidance dance. Good lord, I don't even know how this is going to work. I also have it with the Saint, but I doubt he'll even talk to me, and that's a bummer because he's really funny and I like talking to him. He's a cool dude.
The rest of my schedule seems fine. I'm not really worried about it. I'll see my friends regardless of what classes we have together.
In other news, all this hype about people getting together is making me feel a bit lonely. Not really lonely; I'm at band, I'm surrounded by people all the time. But an inside lonely, I guess. I'm worried that no one will ask me to homecoming and if that happens I will cry my eyes out and I don't even know what. That would be an ultimate low point for me. BOYS, if any of you care about my sanity, ASK ME TO HOMECOMING PLEASE. THANK YOU.
Above all, I just want to enjoy my life. When I do homework, I secretly enjoy it because I know I'm getting smarter. I hope this year is like that, even though we have all sorts of things to do. It's okay, you know? Because even if I bomb my SAT and ACT and don't get any scholarship money and don't go to college, it's okay! It's all good. I could be a waitress and live on a low budget and fall in love somewhere in Europe, living on my own terms. Screwing up "the plan" is absolutely no reason to not be happy. I have every right to be happy with every situation I am ever in and I should do exactly as I wish to do. That's why boys are my soft spot, because reciprocation is required. If I could just point and pick someone, my life might not be as lame as I always imagine it is!
Well. I think I've just made an executive decision on the APUSH situation: I will do whatever the fuck I want whenever the fuck I want and enjoy having Eby as a teacher. I will talk to the Saint as much as I please, and hell, maybe I'll even talk to Chris because I have nothing to lose. It's high school. I should be allowed to have a good time without worrying about what people (who will be all but dead to me in 2 years) think of me. Boo yah.
Mona
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