I don't feel like blogging at all

I had such an excellent time today with B that opponent-process theory is happening right now.
It means that right after you're really happy, and that happiness ends, instead of returning to your original state of being, you hit a low, and then go back to normalness. It keeps the balance basically. Sort of like taking tests sucks arse, but right after you finish you're really happy because of opponent-process theory and it's relevantness.
So I'm at that low and I really wanted to journal about it but I can't find my moleskine and typing up stuff on Word is bullshit, so blogging. But I actually don't want to talk to anybody online or anyone to read this. Like seriously, if you've reached this point on the post, stop reading and go away and stop reading. Just stop.

I realize now that college changes people a lot, the same way that high school changes people a lot. I mean, he's still the same person, but it's disconnected because he has experiences I don't have. No matter what, he's always going to be at a different point in his life trying to achieve different things. That's not necessarily a bad thing, but I'm cranky as shit right now and it bothers me that I can't just be in college with him too. I wish I went to American University and hung out with his friends and was one of those people that he kept texting all day. But I'm not, and I never will be. So why can't I accept that?

Because I refuse to let go. But I kind of have to. Which is why I decided today that B and I are friends, and nothing more. Just friends. I'm cutting off any other significant emotional attachments. He is not my "friend in quotes," my friend with benefits, my college friend, my friend who's a boy, or my friend who is friendlier than friends can be. And this is for the best because it's time to forget and move on and allow myself to feel about other people the way I feel about him.

I think if someone really wanted to understand how I feel, and I can't imagine why they would want to do that who really cares that much honestly, but if they did...
they should read Persuasion.

Timing is everything. 
Timing is the basis of life.
Would heroes be heroes in a different time? Would villians be heroes in a different time?
Would I be "friends" with B at a different time?
NO. But also yes.


Timing. 
If you're still reading this post, I hate you.
But not really go read Persuasion, Jane Austen do it best decision of your life read Jane Austen breathe Jane Austen live Jane Austen.

Seriously though stop reading this and do things with your time.
^note to self.
^note to reader.


Mona