Well. It's day four of the new semester and I have to say, things are going pretty gosh darn well. After the initial reaction to having someone in all my classes, I've kind of gotten over it. I guess I just always thought that people from that crowd didn't really associate with the likes of me, but then again Mable thinks I'm the bomb-diggity (and the feeling is mutual) so I don't know why I was ever worried. It's nice. I like having "friends" or casual acquaintances in class because then there's never a dearth of things to talk about. We don't already know everything about each other, and that makes it interesting.
On a somewhat brighter note, all my NHS presidency duties are finally kicking in and there's just so much to accomplish, but I like the feeling of running things. I keep sending out emails to different people and receiving and replying. I like communicating and directing so many different people at once. It's like making a bunch of new friends! Yay! Or maybe I just like being the boss of people, who knows. Whatever it is, it's great. Responsibility is thoroughly acceptable when it's like this.
Ermmm let's see what else... I had a lot of things to say, I really did.
Uhhh.
Yeah, I don't know. I guess I just have a generally good feeling about this semester so far. I've finally started to find that happy balance between caring too much and not enough, so I can get involved in the affairs of my friends without perhaps getting personally affected. Maintaining my distance.
I've also been stepping it up homework-wise, getting on top of things. Can you believe that I finished the Psych reading that's due tomorrow...yesterday?
TWO DAYS IN ADVANCE.
That's how on top of shit I'm talking about.
It's as if this feeling of urgency was injected into me Sunday, January 6th, and now I can feel it coursing through my veins at every moment. I have this constant need to be productive, even if that productivity consists of blogging on Tumblr for relaxation. Why does that have to be a waste of time? It's important to rejuvenate and maybe if I stopped putting this false negative connotation around everything that calms me, I wouldn't be so...crazy.
I mean I think everyone here knows I'm batshit crazy.
But like actually though.
Speaking of, I'm feeling a lot better this semester too. I haven't had many occurances lately (that I know of) so that's incredible. I think I've brought it down to about 3 or 4 a day, which is insanely awesome. At least now not every other word that comes out of my mouth is shit.
I like the feeling of security that I can talk freely without watching myself for this.
I feel safer in my own head, which is the most important place to feel safe, isn't it?
Mona
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