Soma

A gramme of soma keeps away ten gloomy sentiments. So I need some soma stat!
It's not that I'm gloomy, really, in fact I'm more stress-free this break than I ever normally am, but for some reason I just don't think I'm particularly happy either.

And that's why Bernard Marx tries to stay away from soma anyway, because you can't manufacture happiness with sex and pills.

I've been reading a lot, which of course always makes me happy, but if I'm being honest, I'm getting a little bored. Reading is only exciting if it's my first choice, but when it's just a default back-up plan? It's like that one person that you don't mind hanging out with and they're your friend but then you end up spending a ton of time with them alone because no one else can hang out and you start getting annoyed and pissed. That's me and reading right now. I'm getting bored.

That's why it was a nice surprise when K-rad texted me yesterday and basically just stated that we were getting Chipotle today. No questions, no room for doubt or maybes. Just "Tomorrow, burritos and I'll pick you up at 12:30." AWESOME, it was just the kind of break I needed. Contrary to what anyone else might say or believe, he's a genuinely cool person and I really enjoy spending time with K-rad. We never have those awkward pauses or breaks in conversation, it's always light and fleeting, and if we do talk about something deeper, it's not forced or weird or gossipy. Just the kind of friendship everyone needs! Plus, when we got coffee and such, he didn't complain even though he hates coffee (as some people crazily do), and when we had to part ways, it was mutual and with the knowledge that hangouts would happen later, planned or not. It's just peaceful and a good break.

So we got our Chipotle and the place was full, but this wasn't a burrito run like me and D have and we wanted to sit down and enjoy our meal. It was decided that we would go into Five Guys and get a drink there because they have the nifty drink machine and peanuts. Of course, I got a fat burrito (compensation for being a vegetarian...everytime) and we talked and stuff. Then Mrs. Mills came in! It was awesome. I like Mrs. Mills a lot and I hope she likes me too. A little later, Si and her siblings came in too and I saw them and didn't try to make conversation because I know Si isn't terribly fond of K-rad, but it was okay. I also like Si a lot. I like how when she compliments me, it isn't everyday and I know she's telling the truth. She's not just saying something for the sake of it, she really means it and I like that.

After Si and sibs and ma left, JOE L AND FRIENDS WALKED IN. GUYS I WAS MID-SENTENCE WITH K-RAD AND I JUST FROZE AND LOOKED DOWN.

K-rad sensed something, saw Joe come in, and just burst out laughing. And we spent the next half hour sitting there, me not trying to look at Joe and K-rad trying to get me to go upto him and talk to him. It was torture. He laughed at me, I told him to shut up and tried not to look at Joe. Finally, K-rad threatened to call Joe over, so I gave in and told him that if he gave me a decent pep-talk, I'd do it.

Guys I've never done anything this gutsy in my life. And according to K-rad its not even that gutsy?! HELL YEAH IT IS.

I got up from my seat (K-rad reassured me that I did indeed look very good, and I trust his platonic judgement), and I walked over to Joe.

Me:
Joe: ....  *looks up*
Me:
Me:
Me:
Me: .....Hey Joe! Can I talk to you for a second?
Joe: *looks down*
Joe: sure. *doesn't move*
*friend of Joe raises eyebrows and makes to get up*
Me: .....so...uh... Could I get your number?
Joe:
Me:
Joe:
Me: *eyes widen*
Joe: sure.
Me: *pulls out phone* *almost drops phone*
Joe: 630-blah-blah
Me:
Joe:. ......
Me: Awesome! Thanks!
*friends of Joe look at me awkwardly*
Me: *walk away, smiling nervously*

And I get back and K-rad is laughing his head off. So I just picked up the drink, put a lid on it, and pulled him out with me. It was quite possibly the most terrifying experience of my life, especially because Joe had this complete look of apathy and disinterest on his face that I'd never seen before. And also because the only things he said to me were "sure" and a few numbers. I don't even know what I'm supposed to do now? I mean, yeah, I should probably text him so he has my number too, right? But I feel like I don't want him to have my number because I'm so embarrassed of the way that whole thing went down. I always thought boys would react the same way girls would to a situation like this; I would be hella flattered! However, it didn't seem like he was at all, and if anything, he seemed just as embarrassed as I did.

It's probably my nose ring.
It's probably my puke green jacket.
He probably thought I was a hobo.
He probably smelled the coffee on my breath.
Idk.
It was probably a lot of things.

But all I know is, there's not much else I can do to get his attention, right? He knows I'm interested now, and the ball is in his court. So we'll see what happens.

I await terrible things my friends.

I need that gramme of soma! 

Mona