It all pulls down on my sore feet

Yet another quote from one of my favorite songs ever. I honestly cannot wait until I get my license and can drive around listening to it, feeling calm and at home.

Anyway, I'm starting to get druggie-like paranoia. It's really intense one minute, and then the next I'm just accepting things for what they are and moving on, mostly about homecoming.
Even though there's still about a month to go, I'm pulling into acceptance of the idea that I may not go. I'm not okay with that, not in the slightest. Especially since I've never gone before, even without a date. However, I'm beginning to feel less self-pity and just swallowing up the pain. Because what else is there to do? I can't mope around because boys don't find me worthy of their company, that would be a pointless waste of my time. Instead, I can only pretend that it didn't happen, or that I didn't care, and hope that my mind will assimilate those feelings.

I wish I didn't care.
I really do.
But I care, and in my opinion, this is just another form of rejection.
Especially since all my friends are going, or are on a date. Even my back-up (R) has decided that between me and D, he wants to go with D. I'll admit, I was a little hurt at first, but ate up my pride and realized that she's much more fun and looks better in pictures, so it makes sense.
So I'll be the only really single person that day. I won't lie I'll probably bawl my eyes out all evening and become seriously depressed homecoming week and the week after. But life will go on, and I guess I'll be alright, eventually.

Might as well start early on the process. Early in the morning, when it all pulls down on my sore feet.

BOA made me realize that friendship is really hard. Having friends is work, just like relationships. People forget that too easily, and that's why bad things happen.
We all have to care just the right amount, because too much or too little is what ruins it.
But about homecoming, since that's what's always on my mind right now: the next month of my life will consist of me crying on a daily basis until I get asked. I'm so emotionally vulnerable right now it's disgusting.


Mona